Epiphany

i hve picked up the blogging pen again and all i can say is dear diary.....

i hve fianlly returned to my blog...to my forgotten blog.....it seems to become my companion for times when i am sad and depressed and this again seems to a time like that.

i have shifted to bangalore and although im missing home terribly, i seem to have fallen in love with this place, it has alomst become my home away from home. one day sitting up on the terrace i was wondering why and i realised that i love it cos it has helped me immensely to move away from my past. it has taught me to become strong......

i have changed a lot from my experience...i dont know whether it is for the better or for the worse but i know that i have changed.

i have learnt not to trust people completely. i have learnt to take things as they come and laugh at difficult situations. it strange how things dont bother me any more. i m not concerned with anything nw. i have become detached from the world and its people. i laugh, i stay perky, jolly and funny with my friends but then at the same time im detached from all of them. if things dont turn out for me, im not bothered i jsut take them as they come. that's jsut all for me.

.all i know that i needed to change. i know i didnt matter at all...n i realised after an Epiphany moment that i meant nothing at all....nothing at all....i was too stupid and dumb to see it and because of that i let myself be used and in the process i had humiliated myself enough to develop a hate for my own self, and had become all the things that i absolutely detested! i hate myself for all that and i think i will never ever forgive myself for it. never ever!!

i often wondered that a person could never hurt anyone else so badly, especially when that person himself has gone through so much. but i guess im wrong.

now i have simply moved away, deliberately......without saying anything....no words...no goodbyes...nothing at all.

its for the better!!